Observation on myself in the 3rd person 1973

After that she learned to steward her supply of otherworldly emotions, learned how not to spend them wantonly at the slightest sight of something beautiful. She cultivated a certain stirring calm and peaceful feeling within which she alone could enjoy moments of inexpressible exuberance. Still, she never ceased wanting to share a vision of beauty with someone, only discovered a better way of waiting until she could have it. She pledged herself to an appointment in the future, building on the contingencies with her past, learning from them she told herself, always preparing. The security blanket she wove for herself out of these caccooned her through a cyclical passing of seasons patterned in pain and lose: her home, her marriage, two of her children, several of her best friends. She not only survived, she very nearly succeeded in bringing the future so close she could see it and feel it all around her.